Emmett's Arrival

Rebecca and I are overjoyed to announce the birth of our son, Emmett Levi Harris.  He came into the world at 3:59 AM on July 1, 2011, clocking in at 6 lbs 12 oz and 18 3/4 inches.

Rebecca starting laboring around noon on Thursday. We called our midwife, Maria, at around 4.  When she arrived, she checked Rebecca, who was, to our surprise, already dilated to 9 cm.  Expecting a quick birth, we got ready for the delivery.  Once fully dilated, she began pushing.  She was amazing.  With perseverance you had to witness to believe, she pushed for three hours.  But the baby was not descending.  He was just stuck at "station 1," and no amount or walking, pushing, or position changes was moving him along.  At the three-hour mark, we had a frank discussion and all agreed transfer was appropriate.  We made the 5 minute drive to UCSF in Maria's car.  Once we got there, Rebecca made it to the 15th floor, stopping to kneel on hands and knees several times along the way.  The plan was to get her an epidural and some pitocin and hope for some passive descent before pushing again.  After a three hour "rest," Rebecca started pushing again. By this point, the doctors were mentioning c-section as a possible option, and even as a possible outcome.  They were keeping a close eye on Emmett's heart rate, and said it was OK for Rebecca to push as long as she could, so long as the baby was hanging in there.  

It turns out that the problem was one of simple geometry.  Emmett's head was turned to the right, rather than chin to chest.  That meant that his head could not fit through Rebecca's pelvic bone, no matter how hard or how long she pushed.  In other words, this was not going to be a home birth because Emmett had other plans.  

Rebecca pushed for three more hours.  Somehow she managed to get Emmett to station 2, which was far enough along to allow the doctors to offer an assisted delivery using a vacuum device.  They placed the vacuum pump on the baby's head and Rebecca pushed like all hell.  Our baby was delivered vaginally at 3:59am, just before the sun rose over San Francisco. 

This was obviously not the birth plan we had in mind.  But it didn't matter.  We had a dream team of friends supporting Rebecca throughout the night.  Maria was critical to help us through the hospital world, and to keep us focused on our goal: a vaginal birth.  We refused some interventions (like the electrode clip on the baby's head) but decided on the assisted delivery as a last option to avoid a c-section.  After it was all over, the doctor told Rebecca she had never seen a woman push that hard for that long, and said that Rebecca saved herself and our baby from a c-section.  

It was a perfect birth.

Love to all,

Cody, Rebecca, & Emmett

The Birth of Finley Royalton Prassas by Calen

                                                 

My labor came with no warning, at least no warning signs that I recognized. The day prior, my partner Pilar, my mom Janfra and I took a day trip to Pescadero for lunch and we stopped in Pacifica on the way back to the city.  In Pacifica, we took an hour and a half hike along the beach and to the top of the cliff overlooking the ocean.  It was the warmest day that Pilar and I could remember experiencing in Pacifica, so the gentle breeze at the cliff’s edge was a welcomed, rejuvenating yet soothing caress.  We screamed at the top of our lungs into the wind.  I often like to do this at mountain tops or into strong winds because you cannot be heard and feel complete liberty to let go…something I struggle with and would soon need to do regardless of who could hear me.  It is very cleansing.  This was day 7 past our due date and earlier that day we had gone to St. Luke’s, our backup hospital, for a Non- Stress Test.  Although everything looked great, talks of what to do in case induction was necessary had already begun.  We started to get nervous, so by the time we were at our Midwife Maria’s office the next morning for a 9:30am appointment we were visibly anxious.  Maria calmed us by reminding us that most first time deliveries occurred 8 days past due date.  Currently we were exactly 8 days past our due date.  So much of my pregnancy was text book…why should this piece be any different!? Maria also said that the next six days until we were at our two weeks post due date Dooms Day were a very long six days and anything could happen during that time. 

Before the end of our appointment I told Maria that the slight cramping I had been feeling for weeks occasionally felt a little stronger, three times this had occurred to be exact; once the night before while sleeping, once early that morning, and once in her office.  By the time we were walking to the car I felt it again.  Driving home Pilar said something that really changed my attitude. She said “we lost sight of our goal; to have an amazing homebirth.” She was right, and that sealed my resolve to proceed with our original homebirth plan and put the whole non stress test and thoughts of induction at the hospital out of my mind.  I didn’t have much time to think about it because within a half hour I was feeling regular contractions.  I decided to vacuum the apartment and clean the bathroom- stopping only to have the contraction and then start cleaning again.  At this point I was still convinced that this could be false labor so I told Pilar to continue working and wait to call Maria- we had just left her office merely an hour ago!  I apparently convinced Pilar it was also false, or at least early labor because she suggested taking a walk. My mother said that I might not want to do that to which I replied “I am definitely taking a walk!”  It had been part of our “plan,” to take a walk during early labor.  After the next contraction I whispered to Pilar “we can’t take a walk.”  Pilar knew then to call into work and let them know that they would not hear from her again that day. 

The contractions were frequent enough that I started to keep track at 11am.  They were every 4 minutes apart and lasted 45-60 seconds. At 12:30pm I ate a little greens and beans (Kale and cannellini beans) and we decided to call Maria. She said to call back when the contractions were 4 min apart for an entire hour.  The contractions were already 4 minutes apart for the past hour, but we decided to wait another hour to be sure.  An hour later Pilar called Maria to let her know that the contractions were every 3 minutes apart.  I was moving about the apartment these initial hours trying out new spots to find my comfortable space.  I found the chair my grandmother Sylvia made in the hallway at the time Maria walked in at 3:30pm.  I remember her asking if we had set up this as a birthing station, we had not, and she said “see, that’s what happens!” 

Five hours had gone by already but I remember it as a much shorter period of time.  Maria checked me and I was at 5 cm.  I remember feeling like I had worked too hard to only be “halfway…” as if you can really say that 5 cm is halfway.  Maria stripped my membranes again- a midwife at St. Luke’s had done the same during our non stress test the day before.  At St. Luke’s I was at 2 cm and my cervix was very soft.  During my next contraction Maria “encouraged” my cervix to open and in a few moments I was at 6 cm.  I decided to stay on the bed where Maria examined me for a few minutes longer.  This was one of the very few times that I got an extra minute break in between contractions and I slept and woke to the next contraction having completely forgotten that I was even in labor.  From then on I only went back to the bed for examinations and never to labor.  Maria had told us that she would mostly hang back during labor unless she saw that we needed her.  Of course she continually monitored me and the baby, but otherwise she only stepped in to make suggestions like getting into the shower or to say some encouraging words, but mostly she let Pilar and I work together. The best part about that is that Pilar and I actually felt safe doing that work because Maria not only prepared us for this day, but her experience and calm demeanour in the room during labor put us at total ease.

After this point I don’t remember much in the order that it occurred.  I remember getting into the shower, into the birthing tub, out of the tub, back into the tub.  I remember the tub being a little too warm during the contractions, so I stood up for many of them with just knees to feet covered with warm water.  But what I remember most of all is the feeling of Pilar by my side during every contraction.  As long as she was there stroking my arm, massaging me, and making me sip fluids, whatever it was, she was my anchor.  She made me sip coconut water.  I had never tried it before and I thought she was giving me the sweetest nectar on earth.  Pilar’s hand resting on my body meant I was safe and I had the freedom to do what I needed to do without fear.  I remember Pilar leaving my side only 3 - 4 times and ONLY between contractions.  It was the only time that I felt fear and needed to talk myself down, breathing and telling myself she would be back before the next contraction.  I remember hugging her and burying my face in her neck.  I remember Pilar’s encouraging words; “you can do this,” “you are doing so great.”  I also remember her supportive silence which was just as useful and amazingly comforting.  Every time Maria would listen to the baby’s heartbeat Pilar would tell me how great the baby was doing…I came to find out later that Pilar really didn’t know if it sounded good or not but she told me it did anyway.  Lucky for us the baby’s heartbeat remained steady.  That was so reassuring because I focused on the fact that the baby was doing his job so I could do mine! 

Sadly, I also remember my guilt but in a way my guilt was kind of sweet.  I remember screaming “Fuck” once and then apologizing for it.  Swear words became especially ugly to me during labor and I didn’t want them at the birth.  I vividly remember Pilar being in the shower with me and I remember moving her out of the way so that I could lean against the back wall.  She stepped out of the shower and never returned.  I wanted her back in but I didn’t have the energy to tell her that.  I only had the energy to tell her when something was not working.  Two more occasions that come to mind was when I was rocking and Pilar was also trying to rock with me.  Our rocking kept getting out of sync and I had to tell her not to rock me…that one broke my heart because all I wanted to do is tell her how much I love her and how much she was helping me through the entire process.  But again, I had no energy for that.  Last was when I was in the tub and she asked if she could come in.  I didn’t answer because I was thinking about it.  I DID want her in the tub, but I was conflicted because that would mean she would have to leave my focus point.  I had my head buried in her neck and my arms draped over her shoulders.  Could I give that up?  I wanted her in both places. 

I felt a lot of pressure in my pelvis all of a sudden and asked Maria about pushing.  She checked me and I was only at 7 cm.  I couldn’t believe that I was only 1 cm more.  Through the next contraction Maria helped my cervix reach 8 cm.  I was moving at about 1 cm per hour which is good, but in my head I couldn’t believe that so much work was done for what seemed liked little progress.  Each time I was baffled that I hadn’t magically jumped to 9 or 10 cm.  My labor never stalled.  9hrs at 3 minutes apart is about 180 contractions.  Yes, I did the math.  That is the true scientist in me.  Maria said to me that I was moving into transition and that this next stage would be the most intense.  For some reason I was completely ok with that.  Maybe I expected it, or maybe I was just naïve because transition is most definitely intense and this is where I lost it a little bit.  I never used a lot of the tools I learned through my readings, or that Pilar and I practiced during our Birth class save 2.  #1) Pilar was my anchor, period.  And #2) I continually told myself to breath low, keep my tone low and in my pelvis to keep those muscles soft and relaxed.  Transition was when I particularly used these ideas, but what my body did was very different.  I found myself moaning the word “ouch!”  Ouch does not seem like a very positive word to focus on and I probably could have used another but the vowel sound in what I needed.  Then I started screaming, high resonating screaming.  I knew it was not constructive, I knew I would lose my voice, yet I felt like there was very little I could do about it. Maria stepped in at this point to very directly tell me that I needed to calm down and bring my tone back down.  It was frustrating because I knew she was right but I felt like I was disappointing her and myself for not being able to do it.  Another time I remember my body acting without my brain was in the tub.  There were 3 - 4 contractions in a row when I was on my knees that I skated around the tub from side to side in spastic animal like movements.  In my head I thought “What just happened?  That was so strange.”  Up until this point my movements had been spastic sometimes but all were deliberate.  These new movements skipped the involvement of my brain all together. Maria checked me again and said that I was at 9 cm and told me to try not to push for a little while.  I asked if pushing was easier than transition and she told me that it was just different and that people described it as better because it involved actively doing something.  I would soon find out that pushing is not easier.  For the next 20 or so minutes (I actually don’t know the real time, it just felt that long) the contractions were so intense that I started to think “I need help,” “I can’t do this.”  I didn’t really want to say these things out loud because I didn’t want these feelings to be taken seriously...but I did say them because I knew someone would talk me out of it with encouraging words which I needed right then. 

Then I said “I can’t help the feeling to push.”  It was still just a feeling at this point because it was certainly not the involuntary pushing which my friend Rachel has equated to throwing up.  Maria gave me permission to gently push during those contractions.  Next I knew Pilar was in the tub with me…though I don’t remember her getting in.  I was leaning back on her; she was holding my hips swaying me back and forth.  It was some of the best pain relief I had felt in hours.  Then I felt the overwhelming and completely involuntary sensations of pushing.  It was not aided by me at first; it was more like I was just along for the ride.  I quickly learned how to help it out a little.  I finally found my low resonating groan again…more like a growl actually.  Growling felt good.  I tried to use the growls during the pushes to bear down and move our baby to the outside world.  It felt so good to rest my ankles on the edge of the tub, but Maria wanted them inside so I could use the resistance during pushing.  So for a few minutes there was a funny little dance of feet in tub, feet out of the tub.  Maria then suggested that I move to the birthing stool to which I blatantly said “No,” but really I just needed a moment to think about it.  I stood up and immediately had to stop.  I had a huge pushing contraction while standing - then moved to the stool which was wedged between the birthing tub and our large dining room table.  Sue Baelen, the other midwife who came in about 30 minutes before pushing got stuck behind me.  She ended up soothing me from behind.  Sue is like Mother Earth and I melted into her (her words) as she sent energy through my body from her hands.  Pilar and Maria were in front of me.  Maria directed Pilar to hold pressure on my perineum (I just realized, this was told to me after- this is not from my memory), to prevent tearing.  I did tear, but elsewhere (labia), so Pilar did an excellent job!  I think in all I pushed for about 30 minutes.  Pushing is intense and no one ever told me it feels like birthing a baby through your rectum. 

I then felt the dreaded “ring of fire.”  It strangely kind of felt good to me.  At least it meant that the head was crowning and that it would just be a few minutes more until we could meet our little one.  Maria got the head and shoulder out (I presume) and Pilar caught the baby and brought it up to my chest.  The three of us just snuggled.  Maria said “don’t drop the baby.”  I guess we looked shaky, but this made me laugh because I had no fear about dropping the baby, no fear about there being anything wrong at all…the endorphins were amazing!  I didn’t even cry.  Pilar cried which is very rare and kept telling me “I am so proud of you!”  We just stared at the little face as the baby started to cry and use its lungs for the first time.  His eyes were open and he was looking around.  We just stared for 5 minutes before even looking to see if it was a boy or girl.  It is a boy!  We could not lift him too high because the umbilical cord was not very long.  Pilar did lift him a little too high once and she said that I started to explain, as if I were a teacher, how everything was still attached.  I find this very funny, but I don’t remember this conversation at all.  I do vividly remember Pilar cutting the cord, however, and then delivering the placenta in one push.  I would have liked to see the cord pulsing…but by 5 minutes it had certainly stopped.  Sue brought my placenta over to us so that we could see how beautiful it was.  She showed us the “tree of life” which describes the main veins running through the organ.  She asked us what we planned to do with it and we hesitantly said that we wanted to cut it up and freeze it for smoothies.  Sue didn’t flinch and offered to cut it up for us!  It wasn’t until a few days later when we discovered the glass Pyrex container in the fridge. She perfectly wrapped each and every little piece in parchment paper so it would be easy to separate. Pilar said it was wrapped like a dream since she was the one who actually made me smoothies for 30 days straight! 

The hormones made me feel ecstatic.  You know when something is so wonderful it makes you cry?  Well, this was so wonderful it was beyond happiness, it surpassed tears, and ended someplace in ecstasy.  Pilar and I named this beautiful little boy Finley Royalton Prassas.  The name came from looking at his face and was never actually on our list…but it just suited him.  And finally we were three.  

Homebirth up 20%!!

Yippee! Read the latest AP article on SF Gate here!

Haiti Homework

This is part of a short summary on Haiti by the UNFPA:

"Located in the heart of the Caribbean, Haiti faced many challenges prior to the devastating January 2010
earthquake, including political turmoil, natural disasters and food insecurity. With a population of 10 million, Haiti
is the poorest — and the only least developed — country in Latin America. Maternal mortality is declining, at
300 deaths per 100,000 live births in 2008, compared to 670 per 100,000 in 1990. The nursing-midwifery
workforce was decimated by the earthquake and significant emigration that followed and this has created a
major challenge. Only 26% of births are attended by skilled health personnel."

As Dina, Susan, Courtney and I prepare for our trip to Haiti, I will be offering up information about this incredible country. We leave on July 30 and will work with Midwives for Haiti for 2 weeks. I am excited to return, hoping to deepen my own appreciation of the power of midwifery in rural Haiti and hoping to reconnect with the midwives that we met last year. I am curious to hear about their year: successes, frustrations, goals for the future. Hearing that only 26% of births are attending by skilled personnel tells me that there is still lots of work to do.

Baby 1000!

On Friday, May 27^th, 2011, with great joy and patience, I welcomed in the 1000^th baby into my practice. Audrey Opal arrived, asking us to honor the most important aspects of natural birth: patience, trust, wisdom and commitment. Audrey Opal was born at home, in the water to loving and welcoming mom and dad, Kristi and Bill. It was the perfect 1000^th birth!!

So, many have asked: Is that 1000 homebirths? What does 1000 births really mean? Really, what it means is that I have witnessed 1000 babies join us on the planet. 1000 babies I call “my own.” Not all of them have been homebirths, because, as we know, not all planned homebirths happen at home. And, not all of them have been natural or vaginal births. Again, even with the best of plans, not all births happen the way we intend. But, I can say with all confidence, that all of them have been amazing, incredible experiences. Perhaps more appropriate would be to say that I have accompanied 1000 women along their birth journeys. I have witnessed incredible strength, courage, compassion, challenge, testing, and will power. Birth is hard. It challenges us to the very core. Yet, embraced with integrity and sensitivity, it is an empowering, transformative journey. Birth has the power to teach us what it is like to be a woman, to become mothers, to experience life to its fullest capacity. When birth does not give us what we want, we have to work through disappointment, pain, frustration. We need to dig deeper to the core of ourselves to understand the lessons of birth, in whatever form they come. We grow and learn. We are humbled. Birth is empowering. Birth is hard. Our babies are amazing.

Here are some more numbers that you might be interested in:

I have caught:

7 triptychs (three babies for one family)

3 sets of twins at home

21 VBACs (attended) with 13 HBACs (Homebirths after CSEC)

3 Face presentations

I don't know how many were boys and how many were girls, anyone want to volunteer to count?

Maternal mortality rate in the US per 100,000 births : 13

Maternal mortality rate in Haiti per 100,000 births: 632

As many of you know, I traveled to Haiti last year with a program called Midwives For Haiti. I even have a YouTube channel. Go to You Tube and search sfmidwife. You will find the micro-documentaries that Dina made about Haiti. Dina and I and another CNM, Susan Leibel, will be traveling to Haiti again this year. We will be there the first two weeks of August. Dina and I are hoping to make this a yearly trip so that we can build continuity, rapport and camaraderie with the student midwives and graduates. In order to make this a sustainable mission for us, we are dedicated to fundraising to cover expenses. I have already raised $5700 of the $11,000 that this year's trip will cost for the three of us. I know that many of you have asked me how you can help with this project. So.... here's how. You can donate by sending your checks to me at: 206 27th St., San Francisco, 94131.

You can make your check out to me, or, if you would like your donation to be tax-deductible, you can write the check out to Midwives for Haiti, putting Maria Iorillo in the memo line. Still send the check to me and I will send them all together to Midwives for Haiti. It is quite eye-opening to see how much good can be done with just a few thousand dollars. Your donations will fund two midwives and 1 videographer to travel to Haiti for 2 weeks. Last year Ami and I both brought 50 pounds worth of medicines, supplies and baby clothes which were used immediately and much appreciated.

I am also collecting the white, mesh panties that are given to women to wear after birth. If you have any new, extra ones from your birth experience and was wondering what to do with them, now is the moment. These simple panties help to convey a sense of dignity to the Haitian mothers who often times only have a few torn clothes to use after the birth. You can also donate cotton onesies, baby hats or sox. Most other baby items are too bulky to travel with. Together we can make a difference for Haitian mothers and their babies. Thank you for being a part of this project with me.

Of course, donating your baby supplies means we get to see each other! Just call me for a time that we can get together.

Ganden’s Timely Arrival

There were two things I wanted to accomplish before the arrival of our “little man.” 1) finish painting and decorating his room and 2) see the ocean.

This sounds reasonable enough, but at 35 weeks we learned that “reasonable” was all a matter of your frame of reference when I went into early-term labor. I had been having flu symptoms for three days and had developed a hearty cough so I think my body just went into immune system overdrive and sent a system-wide “Eject!” command to my babe.

At that point we owned a car seat (but it wasn’t installed), the baby’s room reaked of primer and fresh drywall mud, and in our denial about the contractions I had been feeling 7 minutes apart for 10+ hours we arrived at the hospital without even packing a bag. So it was a reality check to both of us when the doctor said that I was 2 cm dilated, 75% effaced, and that it was highly possible that the baby would arrive in the next day or two. “The train has left the station,” she said.  As we processed this news our midwife Maria came to the hospital as we came to grips with the idea that our baby was coming earlier than expected. Then slowly after a few hours at the hospital the contractions slowed and then stopped. We were told we could go home until they started again.

Once we arrived home my husband immediately drew me a bath and poured me a glass of wine, both on doctor’s orders.  He then installed the car seat base, assembled the bassinet, and stayed up until the wee hours of the morning painting the trim of the room (even though we knew the baby wouldn’t sleep in there for months). I knew I had chosen homebirth for a reason that was as much physical and mental—even though we were treated wonderfully at St. Lukes, my body sensed I was in a hospital and shut down my labor! My mantra became “37 weeks, 37 weeks” because my pregnancy had to last two more weeks for me to be able to have the home birth we had planned for.

We made it. At 37 weeks I told my baby that he was welcome to come whenever he wanted. At 37 weeks and 1 day my husband and I finished his room. At 37 weeks and 2 days we drove up to Muir Beach so that I could see the ocean. I had been visualizing waves in my labor preparation, imagining them washing over me and then fading away like a contraction, so I had been yearning to close my eyes and listen to the ocean and breathe the salty air so that I could imprint it on my senses to call on in time of need. It was a crisp, clear day and Dave and I went on a short walk and then sat on a log together and soaked in the sea. On our way home I suggested that we stop for lunch in Sausalito—I had been wanting to try a restaurant called ‘Fish.’ Apparently many others had the same idea because we had to wait in line for 45 minutes just to order our food. But I was super excited about the crab roll, so it seemed worth it. After we ordered there weren’t any tables free, so we pulled two stools up to the bar and sat happily watching the food being prepared. Suddenly, there was a pop, followed by a whoosh, and I said to my husband, “I just felt a pop and now I feel like I’m peeing my pants.” We both looked down and clear liquid was streaming down the stool and pooling on the floor below. It was a moment of wonder and shock; we looked at each other incredulous, laughing. It was 2:00pm. The three teenage girls sitting at the bar next to us looked over and asked (in a Southern drawl), “Are y’all going to have a baby today?” Then they took our picture. Dave’s immediately reaction was to rush out of the restaurant, but I was like, “hell, no. I just waited 45 minutes to order my food, I’m hungry, and I’m going to eat this crab roll before I have this baby.” So he ran back to the register and asked them to package everything to go. We waited another 10 minutes and then I wrapped his windbreaker around me like a diaper and we hobbled out of the restaurant.

Once in the car my first call was to Maria, our midwife. She had just arrived home from another birth and told me that contractions may not gear up for another 24 hours so I should go home and relax and call her when they were 5 minutes apart. My second call was to Natural Resources because we weren’t scheduled to pick up the birth tub for another week and I really wanted to labor in the tub. They offered to try and find a tub for us and would call me back shortly. My first contraction happened as we were driving on the Golden Gate Bridge.

Once home, we quickly sat down and ate our food—I savored the crab roll, and part of a chocolate chip cookie. It was 3:30pm and Natural Resources called to say that they found a tub, so my husband left to pick it up (which involved squeezing it into our Mini Cooper so tightly that he couldn’t move the stick shift out of second gear) and I called my parents to update them on my labor. During the conversation with my Dad I had to continually pause to breathe through the contractions, a signal that labor was progressing. At that point my contractions were between 3 and 5 minutes apart, so I called Maria again and she said she’d be over in an hour. When my water broke we debated if our little man would be a Sunday or Monday baby, and now I felt pretty confident that the baby was coming that night.

As the contractions grew stronger I moved from lying across the exercise ball in the living room, to folding myself forward over the kitchen counter. I was listening to my hypnobirthing mp3s and focusing on my breath. I felt strong and prepared. Dave was heroically scrambling to find a way to connect the hose to the sink to fill the tub (no time for dry runs!). Since my water had already broken I knew that I couldn’t get in the tub as early as I had hoped, and I wasn’t fully confident that we were going to get it set up and filled in time, so Maria suggested that I take a shower. Ahh, the shower, my happy labor place. The warm water felt amazing on my skin, I was alone with my contractions, and my voice reverberating within the enclosed space in a way that allowed me both focus and release. I remember Maria saying that I needed to do whatever made the contractions come on stronger, so I switched between squatting, placing a leg up on the shower bar, and rocking my pelvis back and forth. I remember stroking my belly from right to left and singing, “this is the way you go” as a way of trying to coax the little to guy to turn the appropriate direction to avoid back labor. I also remember saying at the end of each contraction: “bring it on baby, bring it on.” And he did. Maria and Dave would periodically check-in, and I heard my mom arrive, but most of the time I was moaning through contractions and keeping my eyes closed. I was so happy in the shower that I lost track of time and inadvertently used up all the hot water just as Dave was able to get the hose connected between sink and birth tub. Oops. So the boiling of water began! One of my clearest memories from my labor is the cycle of Dave being around to apply counter pressure to my lower back during a contraction and then the second it was over he would whisper in my ear, “ok sweetie, now I have to go and boil more water!” and then he would disappear until my noises would signal another contraction. Dave jokes that he felt like he was attending a birth in the 1800s because we were at home, had a stack of our own clean towels and sheets ready and waiting, and were boiling water.

After I finally left the shower, Maria recommended that I move to the bed. We had recently purchased a padded stool for the cat to use as a step to get up on the bed—I kneeled on it with my body draped forward over my yoga bolster placed on the bed. Once again my eyes were closed and I just tried to relax into the contractions as they grew stronger and stronger and more challenging to bear calming—my hypnobirthing practice was being tested. After one contraction I looked up and saw that it was 9:15pm. I remembered reading somewhere that you should cover up the clocks so that you’re not tracking how much time labor is taking, so I walked over and covered it with a shirt (which now seems a bit ridiculous). I was keeping my eyes squeezed closed both during and after then so my memories are all sounds. After one particularly strong contraction subsided, both Maria and Dave started to leave the room as another huge contraction immediately rolled through me. I remember screeching, “somebody stay and help me!!!!” at the top of my lungs. I was still kneeling draped over the bed hunched over my yoga bolster and the contractions were at their strongest yet. For the few moments between them Maria was telling me to blow out the tension. The baby’s heart rate was still strong and steady. Soon, Maria told me that after the next contraction I should stand up and try to go to the bathroom. I remember waiting for the contraction to subside and as it started to lessen another one would immediately ramp back up, so at that point I think I screamed, “they won’t stop!!” Eventually there was a small break, so Dave supported me as I hobbled over to the next room and the second I sat down on the toilet my body completely took over, I became possessed. My whole abdomen felt heavy, and I started making grunting noises. In my head I was thinking “this baby needs to come out now!” but I’m not sure if I was able to convey that in words or not. Maria ran over and asked if I was pushing, I’m pretty sure I said, “I can’t help it.” Since my water broke before contractions began I still had never been checked for dilation. With one touch Maria said the baby was coming and that I should move back to the bed. That’s when my mind awarded me a moment of clarity. I remember thinking, “Dave has spent nearly all of my labor filling the tub, and I sure as hell am going to use it!!” So with that, I left everyone behind and strutted down the hall into the nursery (I wanted my boy to be born in his own room), threw my robe on the floor, and stepped into the tub. Dave and Maria followed.

I started squatting, as that’s how I had seen it done in all the birth videos, but Maria told Dave to get into the tub as well and support me like a chair so that I could scoop my pelvis upward. Then the “animal” body kicked in, I surrendered. Sounds were coming out of my body that I was not in control of, nor even knew how I possessed. I remember Maria saying, “Jaime, you need to stop screaming. Make low, grunting, animal noises.” Then Dave started making them in my ear so that I could mimic them. Next thing I knew I was being told to reach down and feel the head. All I could think was, “this baby needs to come out now.” He had politely waited to hit the 37 week mark and now was rushing, ready. I only pushed a few times. I had Dave pinned between me and the side of the tub, the back of my head pushing into his face and shoulder. During the pushes Maria was reaching into the water and I could feel a tug—later I found out that the cord was wrapped around his neck twice and she was untangling my babe. I was imagining water and expecting to feel the “ring of fire” but only felt splitting. Only later did I learn that my little man burst through on his way into the world, my body either didn’t have the time or the ability to stretch around him. With one big push his head was out, with the next push out flew his body. It was 10:30pm; 8.5 hours after my water broke. Maria scooped him up and handed him to me. He was so slippery and I felt so awkward, still balancing on my husband’s lap, trying to keep the little guy warm without dropping him. As he was born Sue, the second midwife, had let herself into the house—the ending speed of my delivery must have taken even my midwives by surprise. I called for my mom, who had been waiting, praying, in the next room. She ran in with the camera and shot the most amazing photos that so perfectly captured the moments after his birth: Dave and I in the tub holding Ganden, Dave cutting the cord, both of us in mouth-gaping awe. Just after the birth I remember thinking that I didn’t feel the euphoria that seems to so often appear on women’s faces in the birth videos just after they give birth, all I remember feeling was discomfort. But then I saw the photos and was surprised at how glowing I look—I was radiating joy, love, power. I was mighty.

Two truths were confirmed for me through my birth experience: the wisdom of the body and the power of the mind. It’s a delicate dance between these two because birth is about surrendering to sensation and allowing the instincts of the body to take over while harnessing the power that the mind has over the body. By thinking ‘relaxxxx’ (another of my mantras) and focusing the mind on a particular body part, that body part responds to the command. And relaxing into contractions is far less painful and more productive than fighting them. I mentally understood that going in, and physically felt its truth after a mere few contractions.

Body and baby engage in unknown communications to determine the proper timing for delivery. While a bit earlier than expected, my little boy knew he was strong enough to enter the world. He waited for us to finish his room so that he could be born in calming space fashioned with love. He waited for me to see the ocean so that I could imprint the sounds of the waves within my mind. Perhaps the sounds and smells of the ocean were his beckoning call, a prompt for my bag of waters to rupture, a shared signal to both of us that our minds and bodies were ready to turn inside out.

Ganden, may your laughter always reach up to heaven, my sweet little boy.

What happens after delivery is so often skipped in birth stories. After birthing the placenta I returned to my bed and was able to spend some quality time with my new baby and my husband. We cuddled and practiced nursing. I remember being in awe, but also being completely distracted by pain and continued contractions. After an hour or so Maria said that I had to go to St. Lukes for a repair since I had a fourth degree tear. When people ask me if I have any advice for women regarding birth I say, “embrace discomfort.” I felt mentally, physically, and emotionally ready for the challenge of birth, but a bit under prepared for what would come afterward. I certainly didn’t want to leave my brand new baby at home to go to the hospital. Once at St. Luke’s I had to adamantly refuse the IV pain medications—I had made it this far naturally and other than local anesthetic was planning on staying natural. While laying on the table I had to repeat ‘relax, reeeelllaaaxxxx’, again and again because I was still racked with labor strength contractions but needed to lie still for the delicate suturing that was going on. But in the end I was able to return home and back to bed where my husband and little boy were lying skin-to-skin.

Thanks to Sue Baelen who took such good care of my little boy and my husband while I was away. And much thanks to Maria who caught my little boy and helped make our desire for a homebirth as close to our dreams as was possible. And thanks to my Mom and Dad who both gave Dave and I the space to share the birth experience together, and was very present and supportive during key important moments. And most of all, thanks to my husband who was with me every step of the way (especially when racing to carry pots of boiling water across the house to fill the birthing tub) and who even managed to stomach cutting the cord. I am truly blessed. I was prepared for the first few weeks as a mother to be challenging, but was not prepared for how gentle, joyful, and blissful they could be as we nested at home as a new family. The homebirth experience was wonderful in that it allowed me to “do my thing” during labor and delivery, but what was even more wonderful was the care and I support I felt after the delivery. Dave was there every step of the way (who knew breastfeeding could be a 2 person job?) and I felt like there was a team of people helping me to be successful as a mother, and for that I will always be grateful. 

 

S's Birth by Jamie, her mom

S was born at home herself and here is HER mom's story.

"S" (name changed for this story) was my 5th baby who was born at home, and my first experience with midwives.  Our first child, Jaia, was born at home in Arvada, Colorado in February 1971, with a “cool doc” who had attended medical school in the East, but then began to think holistically and was attending home births.  His name was Richard Moskowitz.  He lived in Boulder, but was at a birth in the mountain town of Ward when I went into labor.  Ward was an hour away and there were no cell phones; the folks who were having their birth didn’t even have a landline. He arrived merely 20 minutes before she was born.

Our next 3 births were at home, with my husband Robert and myself handling the delivery.  After the birth of our 4th child I started practicing midwifery, attending births of friends and then other families in eastern Iowa. We moved to a wooden A-frame on 10 acres of land two months before Sasha’s birth.  At the time she was born, Nov. 9th, 1980, I had two midwife partners who were also my best friends, Carla and Neva.  Since my births had gotten progressively shorter (17 hours, 4 1/2, 2 1/2, and 1 hour and 45 minutes).  Carla decided she and her husband would erect a tipi in our field so she wouldn’t miss the birth!

As the clock turned midnight I had a big rush, then another.  I awakened Robert and took an invigorating, yet calming shower.  He got Carla out of the tipi and called Neva and her husband Dennis, who was a doctor.  I had gone to the birth of their son the previous year and Dennis was going to photograph our birth.  I had also attended the birth of Carla and Roger’s son 7 months before.  It was one extended happy home birth family. My brother, Chuck, also came over to witness and photograph the birth.

I relaxed on a big mattress in the loft of our A-frame. I checked my dilation before anyone had arrived.  It was a gooey 5 centimeters.  Robert woke up our four other children who were nine, six, four, and two years old.  We still have photographs of them; including the two year old waking up drowsily, and sucking his thumb.  Their expressions show curiosity, anticipation, but certainly no fear. I remember laughing as I lovingly watched our four kids taking in the sights and sounds of the birth.

It was the first birth where Robert and I did the smoochie-lovie scenario described in Ina May’s Spiritual Midwifery.  I was in labor daze so I don’t remember much.  I know Neva and Carla were vying for whom would catch our baby.  It was decided that they would both catch. It was all so short: probably 25 contractions and very little pain.  The labor and birth lasted one hour and 12 minutes.  It was such a glorious feeling, and one of relief to have my big beautiful baby lying on my belly and chest, nuzzled to my breast.  She weighed 10 pounds, four ounces; a baby sister for her big sister, who named her S.  After everyone was snuggled back in bed, we all slept until mid-morning.  My family came the next day, plus a few friends who brought food for us.  S was adored by her family, which was now seven strong!

Invest in Midwives

U.N. Report Calls for Investment in Midwives To Reduce Maternal, Infant Mortality

June 22, 2011 — More investment in midwifery could save millions of infants and hundreds of thousands of women who die annually because of a lack of access to skilled health care during childbirth, according to a United Nations Population Fund report released Monday, Reuters reports.

The report -- the U.N.'s first study on midwives -- found that 358,000 women and 3.6 million infants die annually because of largely preventable complications during pregnancy, childbirth and the postnatal period. About another three million infants are stillborn, the report found. The report surveyed 58 countries, studying the equivalent of about 60% of all births and 91% of maternal deaths worldwide.

Countries need a minimum of six skilled birth attendants for every 1,000 births to achieve 95% of needed coverage, the report concluded. A total of 38 countries need more midwives, 22 of which need to double their midwifery workforce by 2015. Seven countries need to at least triple or quadruple their workforce, while nine countries need to increase the number of midwives by between six and 15 times (Kelland, Reuters, 6/20). 

Dozens of aid, development and educational institutions endorsed the report and asked governments and philanthropists to invest in midwives, the AP/Washington Times reports. Vincent Fauveau, a physician who worked on the study, said that midwives can provide a solution for countries with shortages of doctors and nurses. Midwives also can provide contraceptive counseling and services, he said. War, poverty and hunger threaten women and children in many parts of the developing world, he explained, adding that "a long-term strategy" and many investments are needed to save lives (Bryson,AP/Washington Times, 6/20).

The Birth of Finley Mae Soleil By Sean

Finley Mae Soleil Gillon has arrived!  She was born at home, in the water, on Friday, May 6th at 7:00am.   She weighed 8 lbs., 9 oz. and was 20.5 inches long. My wife's labor lasted 7.5 hours and she was inspiring throughout.  

My wife's water broke at 11:30 pm on Thursday night while we were laying in bed... she heard and felt a "pop".  We got up and she moved to the shower, where we looked at each other incredulously.  It's not happening, is it?  Within an hour the dull aches turned into intense contractions.  Her mom, a former midwife who had arrived earlier that evening from Iowa, and I put hot wash clothes on her back for a couple of hours as the rushes strengthened.  We hurried around getting ready in between... I ran around like a maniac trying to sort out the tub and everything else. It was happening so fast.  

By about 2:00 am, my wife laid down on the floor in the living room, moaning "open" through rushes and falling asleep in between.   I laid next to her and, along with friends, comforted her as we fell in and out of sleep.  When she stood up near 5:30, happy to see the first signs of sunlight, she was nearly fully dilated.  Realizing she was farther along in labor than anticipated, we called our midwife, Maria Iorillo, who was incredible.  She arrived shortly after to find us in the birth tub.  Several intense, thrilling, overwhelming pushes later, a posterior head emerged... that was a surprise.  The shoulders and body quickly followed.  I pulled our baby up to my wife's chest and we snuggled.  What an amazing feeling.  We soon found that she was a she and I cut the cord.     

Finley and my wife are both healthy and we're deeply enjoying our first days together.   

Look for next blog post that will tell you all about the placenta!!

Number 993 - Welcome Na'Imah Iman

As I sit here staring at this little human that was in my belly just seven days ago, it is hard to believe this all really happened. I am blown away by my homebirth experience and am so proud to have had a successful birth in my own home surrounded by the people I love most.

Our birth story, for me, starts earlier than most I think because somehow I just knew it was coming. Tuesday April 19^th I was 38.5 weeks into my pregnancy, I started seeing a little bloody discharge and having period like cramps that had started days prior to that all of which excited me but I knew that it could still take weeks before I met my little one. The following day I had my appointment with Maria, I arrived early and so I decided to take a walk around the neighborhood, something I hadn’t been doing due to all of my pubic bone pain throughout the pregnancy but I was determined to meet my baby as soon as possible. Maria and I discussed the discharge with no alarm except Maria did say that she wasn’t sure if the baby is going to wait until my Mom got here on the 25^th, so that also excited me. I then got my chiropractic adjustment from Kristine and was on my merry way. When I got home the discharge and cramps continued to increase but no rhythm to the cramps just noticeable and annoying. At around 9pm when I was about to lay down for bed I got up to pee and noticed a brighter and larger amount of blood when I wiped which alarmed me so I called Maria. She let me know that it still sounded like mucous plug to her and I should try to sleep because I might be woken up in the middle of the night with contractions. So now I am really excited and falling asleep felt like it would be impossible, it was like the first day of school all over again. At 10pm I felt a noticeable change in the cramps they were not tightening across the top of my belly but down low and slightly more intense. I eventually fell asleep around 11pm only to wake up at 1am with more of the same cramps. I laid in bed until 3:30am trying to fall back to sleep but I started to become hungry.  I got up to eat which shifted something because then I felt them a little stronger and more frequent, every 3-5 minutes lasting about 30 seconds in length. I decided around 4am to text my doula Stacy Vogan and give her the update. She recommended I take a bath and try to relax. I decided the bathtub was too filthy so I scrubbed it clean then decided I was too hot to take a bath so I went and tried to lay down some more. Around 5am my still sleeping husband, Walid, woke up to his alarm and I told him to call in to work because my labor had definitely begun. My surprised and half asleep husband said “babe! Why didn’t tell me last night” I explained I wanted him to sleep as long as he could. We continued to lie in bed and relax, I got another hour of sleep from 7am-8am and woke up starving, I had the most insane craving for McDonalds breakfast so I sent my husband out. After he returned and my best friend Bianca came over I left the bed and tried to watch a funny movie to distract myself. That lasted about a half hour before I decided all the chatter of the movie was annoying me so I had them shut it off. At some point during this time I managed to shower and shave my legs but I cannot recall the time. My friend Susanne had also arrived, she was my photographer and as much as I was feeling like I didn’t want an audience I knew I wanted documentation.  We also set up Skype so that my Mom can feel present.

At around 10am we started timing contractions they were coming every 4-5 minutes and lasting 45 seconds. I would let them know it was coming then my husband would rush over and squeeze my hips and I would try to breath. At that point I really thought I needed my doula, I was feeling slightly inadequate and was needing more support. My doula arrived to the house around 1pm and as soon as I saw her I burst into tears, partly so relieved to see her and partly just from the pain and exhaustion. 

 

She was wonderful, reminding me of all that we have practiced and what I already knew I could do. Taking deep breaths and as Stacy would say “going deep” with my moaning. I was also feeling hungry and having zero desire to eat anything that I had to chew. Bianca made me a protein smoothie and we continued to labor. Shortly after that I decided to get into the birthing tub. 

 

The tub was amazing, I felt lighter and calmer. My husband got in with me and pushed on my hips with every contraction, he was so wonderful, reliable and completely supportive. Maria arrived around 2pm we think. My contractions at that point were feeling very intense, I would feel it coming, it would last about one minute to a minute and a half, then as it subsided another one would come up right behind it without a break but only lasting about 20-30 seconds and then I would get my much needed break. My moans were surprisingly louder than I had expected them to be. 

 

I am typically a very quiet person and expected a lovely silent homebirth as I had seen in so many homebirth videos, not so in my case and I was later told I sounded sort of like a lamb. I also remember clearly saying the words “no” and “ouchy” and I only cursed a few times (also surprising). What’s even more interesting about that is that I once read somewhere that research had shown newborns have the same intonation as their mothers when they cry and I swear some of the sounds she makes were the exact sounds I made while I birthed her. 

We were still waiting on my antibiotics to come via courier, since I had tested positive for GBS, once they arrived around 4pm we then needed to warm them up a bit. Around 5pm they were ready to go I had to leave my warm and cozy tub, which felt impossible. I could hardly walk at that point and made it about 10 steps before I felt another contraction coming. It was then that I saw a slight gush of water coming down my legs with a little bit of blood. I remember being confused if my water had broke or if I was still just wet from the tub but it continued to come and then I could care less as the contraction came on stronger. I bent over a table and called for the hip squeeze again and so we decided to do the antibiotics right there. I would sit on the exercise ball in between contractions to rest but I had to remain on that antibiotic and at that table for an hour.

After we were done with the antibiotics I felt very aware of the audience in my home and had an intense need to be alone with my husband so we went and begun laboring in our bedroom with the door closed. Every now and then Maria would pop in to check the baby’s heart rate, my blood pressure or my dilation; baby was always strong and steady. I sort of dreaded when Maria came in the room only because it meant a check of some sort or more antibiotics and my contractions felt so insane that I thought I couldn’t bare anything else. After laboring on the bed for awhile Maria checked my dilation again and I was only at 7 and feeling like there was no way that could be possible after all this work. She suggested we try sitting on the toilet as a different position to help things along and so we did. The contractions got worse on the toilet, stronger and longer. They also made me feel like I needed to push, push what I am not sure, what it really felt like was that I badly needed to poop. I would bare down on my husband’s hips and hold on until they passed, I was not liking the toilet at all so we moved back to the bed. Eventually I wanted to try the tub again in hopes that I would be getting close to pushing and we could birth there. At some point someone said I might be ready to push in a couple hours….I remember feeling very aware of time and knowing that these contractions were coming every 30-45 seconds apart from each other it seemed just daunting that I will be doing this for a couple more hours at the least. After we were in the tub for awhile Maria checked the baby’s heart rate again and she said that the heart beat was decelerating so I may need to leave the tub. She suggested I shift to my side and see if baby likes that better and thankfully she did, heart rate regulated and all was well. Eventually, we needed to do antibiotics again so we needed to leave the tub. Walking was near impossible and it took my husband and my doula to get me back to the bedroom contracting along the way. We labored there for what we think was about 45 minutes to an hour then Maria gave me a check again and said that I was at about 9 ½  and there was just a little bit left, then she said “I think you can start pushing and the pushing will clear that space”, she also said that she was calling her second midwife and she left the room. My doula Stacy said “did you hear what she said”, and I said “yeah, she’s leaving me” and she said “no she gave you the green light to start pushing”, for some reason I thought that the second midwife was coming to replace Maria. Maria then came and asked me if I wanted to make my way back to the tub for birthing. I had always wanted to birth in the tub but I just could not imagine making my way back across the house. So the pushing began right there in my bedroom. It felt amazing to try to get rid of that rectal pressure, although it was as if I got it out half way and it would be sucked back in..…highly dissatisfying. At one point I felt that my husband, who I was leaning on, had fallen asleep (which in retrospect I cannot imagine how because my moaning had definitely increased). I tried pushing on my back, pushing on all fours then Maria said “I have the birthing stool if you want to try that”. Again, feeling like I didn’t want to move anymore I also was willing to do anything to meet my baby. I decided to go for it, with my husband behind me supportive as ever and after just a couple pushes Maria checked the baby’s heart rate again and said “so Krissi, it’s probably best he baby come out as soon as possible” and I remember feeling an animalistic instinct to push and keep pushing like never before and then I heard “ok, there’s the head” which surprised me because I didn’t feel that happen but with the next push I felt an incredible burn and on Friday April 22^nd at 3:10am there she was on my belly. 

 

 I looked at her in complete amazement. She was so alert and just fantastic, she needed a little oxygen but throughout the whole process I never worried about her and had complete faith in Maria and my baby.

I can’t describe how happy I was to meet her and in complete denial that I actually pulled it off. I felt alarmingly refreshed and energetic and I was home in my bed with someone so perfect. We stayed up for the next 3-4 hours before falling asleep for about 3 hours and awake again with excitement. I am still in disbelief and as any one of my friends would tell you, I have a very low tolerance for pain but my determination and a little bit of stubborn (or as Maria wouId call it tenacity), I did it, without a single thought of an epidural, we did together, a perfect rhythm between baby and mama and an incredible birthing team. I am so thankful for Maria and Stacy and my amazing homebirth experience; I loved every moment of it and wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.